Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Pity: Party of Four Please

Mel told me to put a paypal address on this entry so that we could all run far, far away. But I'm not that pathetic yet. Needless to say there is one overriding point to this blog: moving here was a bad, bad idea. I could be working at a happy Barnes and Noble in Massachusetts, and the who;e fam would be delightfully covered by my health insurance. Which we'd have. Our neighbors would be gay and democrat. They would not drive Ford F-150's and protest for their right to carry concealed uzis.

We've made bad moves in the past.

All of them, in fact.

We just keep moving places because it's a good opportunity. Not a good place. Mostly, it's a scary place: Iowa, Arizona, now Florida. But we figure this next move will finally be the one that gives us the autonomy to move on.

Now, life is speeding by and each move puts us farther and farther away. Now we don't even have the money to run, I have no legal rights to Soren, and the next job prospect that I take, I'll be doing what I left Arizona to never do again: pay for the family plan and cover 2 of my family members. And make a subsistence living in the place with the lowest cost of living around. Yippee. I LOVE working the same job for 2/3 the money. It makes me feel soooooo appreciated. Not to mention making me the consumate a team player with a sunshiny attitude. Downward and downward we go.

The pediatrician's office this morning was b-a-d. It started the downslide, though, to tell you the truth, the sliding started about 5 days postpartum with Alice too. The fear, the sense that one must GET OUT NOW. The office is...um...ghetto. And Mel now officially confirms my initial assessment of the "girls" that work there: they are, in fact, "girls." And Mel adds that they are girls with gang tattoos. They tell you to "put her there" to weigh and measure your child and don't tell you the results. They order tests to be done without your consent. Occassionally they get threatening when you have the audacity to decline tests. It's a battle. You may win, but you'll fight. Everyone in the front office (no well child/sick child entrances) is discussing their medicaid plans even while they ignore their treatment at the hands of the girls. The check-out people have now officially stared at us both like we were complete idiots. On a bright note, Mel liked the doctor too, but said that she was rushed.

It's funny, because the last time that I was there, a faggot told me that I was very brave for telling the counter girl that I was on medicaid (er, Alice was) since I was admitting that I was on public assistance. But in truth, the class distinction is a bit backward. I realized this time around that the class pendulum has swung the other way, and has little to do with money or the desire of Floridians to pay for gays' kids' healthcare lest their parent be allowed to cover them at work. It has to do with the assloads of cultural capital dripping out my butt every time I walk in there, and my ability to maneuver the system in a way that none of those other people in the waiting room could. Because they leave there not knowing how much their children weigh, or what tests were run on them while they were held down and screaming.

If they too decide that the treatment sucks, they will get the same thing at the next place they visit, since they will show up having no idea what their kids weigh. And looking ignorant. And on and on it goes. But it's true that Soren will not be treated like that again. Because we have something that they don't. That sucks too. But not for Soren.

I miss Dr. Carter. We did not appreciate her. If you're in Scottsdale, PLEASE take your kids to Jodi. Because Jodi is wonderful. Granted, you will have your own class shit in which to stew, since your youngin' will play nintendo in the waiting room and cavort among at least half a dozen Petunia Picklebottom bags and Peg car seats in toffee/coffee latte pattern fabric.

Enjoy it while you can. This momrning a man actually had a seizure in our pediatrician's office and they DIDN'T SEND A DOCTOR OUT!

Oh, and while the doctor's office sped my spiral, lots of other groovy stuff is happening to us in this goovy place:
1. Soren will have an ultrasound on Monday to confirm that her butt dimple does not go through to her spine. Oh goody. I am so elated at the possibility that we'll all get to deal with that. That would just make my year. I did this to her. I made us completely unable to care for her, took her to a place where I can't find her help or care. Then spent all our savings pissing around for 6 months doing nothing to get her out. WHY didn't I get us out?
2. The nephew boy is going through another episode of I'm-an-asshole-watch-me-fuck-up. This time it involved some mysterious anti-seizure pills. Except we're all too numb/familiar with this scenario to do anything, and yet again, there will be no consequences. He'll be doing the same thing next week. To let him reap the consequences?

Wow.... sounds like there is a little anxiety over there right now. Everyone needs to take a deep breath and adjust to life with two kids. And overcome what seems to be the start of a little postpartum issues.
And while I see where Florida may not be the "ideal" place to live in the terms of gay rights and so on, there are ways around it. We will help you figure it all out. First properly draw up all the papers taht we have had done, substituting information and sign them with witnesses and a notary so that they will be official. And then get back on your feet financially, and persue a second parenta doption, just as you did for Alice, so that the state cannot challenge your parental rights to Soren. It will take a little time, but it can be done.
As far as insurance goes, you know my feelings there, let the state pick up what they are unwilling to supply. All three of them will forever qualify for insurance through the state until Soren hits 19, so let it be that way and save the insurance premiums and put them to better use.
And as far as teh pediatrician went, that sucks. But kudos to you for standing up to the annoying nurse type children in the office. And next time they do not tell you the result of something, ask them and then tell them it is polite to inform a parent of their child's growth, not just write in on a paper that they are never going to see. And I am suprised that you were rushed by Dr. Ryan, she is usally not like that, next time just keep her there till you feel that you have had all your questions answered and are satisfied. I am keeping an eye out for the perfect practice, becaus etehy are always adding new doctors to the list of approved providers, so hopefully the dream doc will show up soon and then these issues will be a of the past.
I am glad that they are taking a non invasive yet proactive step in which to make sure Soren is completly healthy, I will be waiting in angst to find out the results.
And finally let us do what we can to help you guys, you know we are here for you. Call anytime for anything and we will do whatever is in our power to help out!
I just have to tell you that you are mistaken on insurance. You will NOT be paying for a family plan to cover half your family. You need to get that right. No one ever does that. Ever. You pay an employee plus child(ren) plan to cover your child(ren). And you are absolutely allowed to add Soren on that, because you can cover a child that is not biologically or legally yours if you have custody of said child. But the difference between an employee child plan and a family plan is about $400 a month, so you are NOT paying for a family plan. Really, you're not. Family plans are for entire families, both parents and the kids. Employee child(ren) plans are for the employee and the child(ren). That's the plan you would have.
Except if you work for the school board, you can add Mel as well. So deal with it. At least that's the way it works in Hillsborough, and ANY employer over fifty. State law sweetie. You CAN get insurance coverage for all of you.
And Florida sucks, and we should all move to Norway. But you can make it suck less.
And Oz doesn't have spina bifida. I hope. But good thing you're checking, just to alleviate some anxiety.
NORWAY! Sounds good; let's go. I always have postpartum anxiety, it usually lingers for 2+years. At least we can use medical issues as a reason to expeditie Soren's exit from medicaid to a straight up plan and go see the fabulous doctors, if they exist around here. Then I'm going to win the HGTV dream home and send everyone to a homeopathic which is never covered. Do you know it is in the Netherlands??
I need to be around the soccer gap moms.
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